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New Year, New You?

January 3, 2015

newyearnewyou


People often ask why I wake up so early most mornings of the week.  Most days, I have clients starting at 5am which means I need to be out of the house by 4:30am.  In turn, that means that my alarm is going off at 3am (sorry, Joe) so that I have plenty of time to make a filling and nutritious breakfast, pack plenty of water and snacks for the day, and enjoy a little quiet TV and coffee time.

Some mornings, such as today, I have just enough time to type up a blog post that has been rolling around in my brain lately.  So, here we are….

————–

It is that inevitable time of year where we look back and assess the year that was.  2014 had it’s ups and downs as I am sure it did for everyone;

– cancer came and went once again in my family

– I got to travel a little

– I managed to take control of some disordered eating (hello binge!) and all the mental, self abuse that goes along with that

– I began to really focus on meal planning for the week

– In the spring, I finally started doing CrossFit and am so happy that I did!  Some days, I leave there so frustrated to the point of tears.  Other days, I leave riding a high that only a truly challenging and taxing workout can bring

– As of very recently, I have begun to enjoy running again.  The treadmill is less of a ‘have-to’ these days and more of a ‘want-to.’

– 365 days of workouts: not all of them were balls-to-the-walls, beast mode types.  I am a big fan of active rest days.

Going into the end of 2014, I began to think whether or not I was going to proclaim yet another empty resolution for the coming year.  Yes, I want to pare down the ‘stuff’ that is cluttering up the house.  Yes, I would like to create a budget and actually stick to it.  Yes, I have endless health and fitness goals.

But these rather broad statements never seem to have any follow through.

I was making small talk with a client this morning.  I had asked her if she had made any New Years resolutions — you know, the usual things you ask people this time of year.

I expected her answer to be the typical ‘lose weight’ ‘get healthy’ fare that is in over abundance this time of year.

She surprised me though.

She explained that she does in fact set goals for herself but rather than throw out a statement of how she would rather be this year as opposed to last, she asks herself, “where would I like to be 1 year from now.”  She prioritizes a few things that are truly important to her in the coming year and sets smaller, more attainable goals throughout the year to make certain that she is on track.

That got me to thinking….where would I like to be 1 year from now.  And in truth, I don’t really have an answer for that.  I am not one to have a 5 year plan, to think past the next few weeks, or to ask if there is more that I can be doing to better myself and my situation.

I don’t know if that is laziness or a lack of motivation but it sure can make for living in the rut of the typical day in and day out.  Perhaps I don’t set goals for myself because it would be yet another added stress that I don’t necessarily have the time nor the energy to tackle.  Perhaps I don’t set goals for myself because I don’t have the direction nor the drive to reach them.  Perhaps I don’t set goals because I fear not actually reaching them.

Who really knows.

What I do know, however, is that this notion of “New Year, New You” has never been one that appeals to me.  Why, with the stroke of midnight on the 31st of December, does everything change?  Why does everything automatically start over?  Yes, it is a whimsical and charming notion.

A cleansing of the palate.

A wiping clean of the slate.

But once the all the cleansing and wiping are done, you are still you.

You are still you with all of your scars, your weaknesses, your faults, and your downfalls.

So why then do we get a reset button?

I’m not sure that we do.  Rather we need to add on to – no, make adjustments to – the person we already are.  We are a work in progress not a 365 day project that goes right back to zero on the 1st of January.  We are ever changing, ever adjusting, ever building on the foundation that we have already established for ourselves.

We add to, subtract from, keep at a steady state every hour of every day.  It is what makes living all the more interesting.

So New Year, New You?  Not for me.  Rather a subtly different version of me.

A few tweaks, a few turns of the screw.

An altered way of thinking.

A different way of behaving.

But never not me.

Always me – past, present, and future.

Always me.

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