They Can’t All Be Good Days, Right?
Ugh! It has been a little crazy around here. Though a blessing, the week just seems to fly by and I have been struggling to get everything done that needs to get done. Unfortunately, when I get busy, my posts become even more few and far between. It isn’t ideal — trust me, I would rather be sitting behind the keyboard than running around like crazy!
I have been going to CrossFit for a little over a month now and have really been digging it. Though most days I feel exhausted before I even get to the 10am class, by the time warm up is done and we are setting up for the WOD, I am crazy-ready to get started. I feel very focused during the workouts, not really noticing the fatigue, the sweat, the heat, just working. Just getting it done.
When I leave, I sit in the car for a few moments and begin to check in with my body.
Arms are exhausted.
Legs are like jelly.
Lungs still breathing hard.
Oh, it is such a great feeling!
This would be most days.
If only they could all be like this.
In the month that I have been CrossFitting, I have only had two workouts that I have left feeling less than adequate. The first was about two weeks ago when, after a sweaty warm up and some strength work, we were split up into teams of three.
Wouldn’t you know it, I was set up with two of the ‘best’ chicks in the room. Now, a normal person would have been head over heels excited to be paired with these two great athletes. Not me. Oh no. Apparently not normal by any means.
I, after being put on a team with these two ladies, felt sick to my stomach. With this being a timed, team workout, everyone had to pull their own weight.
The workout was toes to bar, 1-arm floor to overhead, and box jumps.
Now all of these exercises are ones that I can do, but I knew for certain that I was slow on not only the toes to bar but on box jumps as well. I just knew that I was going to hold them back and I was dreading the clock countdown.
I was the second one up and after watching one of my teammates haul ass through her first set, I just knew this was going to be terrible. Though I was able to complete all of my toes to bar, I couldn’t for the life of me, connect them together. So it took me twice as long to complete my set then it did the rest of my team.
I hated it. Hated that I was holding them back. Hated that I was slowing them down. And the worst part, they didn’t seem to care. They were there, cheering me on and giving me tips the entire time.
We still managed to finish quickly, before many of the other teams, though no thanks to me.
My second, not-so-great day at CrossFit happened last Wednesday. The workout consisted of power cleans and burpees and scores were tabulated by how much weight you lifted within that 20 minutes.
For whatever reason, I could just not get the form right on my cleans. Though I have done them many times before, for whatever reason, I just could not get it together. Once the workout started, I was watching those around me clean like they have been doing it all their lives and continually adding weight (thus making their scores go up). So not only was I battling some sort of mental block, I was also dealing with that overly competitive side of me that gets enraged when I can’t keep up.
20 frustrating minutes later, the workout was over and I was flustered almost to the point of tears. As I heard the others shout out their scores, I only felt even worse about myself. As I sat in my car, working up the energy to drive home, the tears started.
How stupid is that? That one bad workout can send me to the point of tears!
Granted the tears were out of sheer frustration but still, what the hell?
I guess there are some things that I feel I should already be good at and its painful when I find out that I am not. There is also the possibility that I am not nearly as strong as I think I am and coming to these conclusions is a real slap in the face of the ‘ol ego.
I really do love going to CrossFit several days a week — heck, I even get a little excited just thinking about it. I know that there are going to be endless battles and struggles and that not everything is going to come easily to me.
That’s how we learn, right?
That’s how we grow.
That’s how we get better.
That’s how we get stronger.